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I Found My Way Home

As I Write This, I hope it is a long, long time before it will be read.
I want all of you who are gathered here for my funeral to know
something that it is very important for me to tell you.
I want you to know I found my way home.

As I grew up, like most people, there were parts of who I was
as a child that got lost in the process of growing up, and the
general phenomenon of socialization that I have come to view as a
unfortunate plague that is visited upon our children.

I am so very thankful that throughout my adulthood that there
was a significant part of who I was as a child that refused to be
socialized. Like Hansel and Gretel in the forest, these were the
bread crumbs I followed back to find the parts of my being I had
left by the wayside. The greatest joy of my life has been,
as an adult going back and picking up the pieces of my humanity
that got left on the side of the road to growing up.

The early morning hours, alone or with a candle became the
most enjoyable, many times ecstatic part of my day as I re-discovered 
parts of my being that I had lost connection with. 
What I came to see is that there is something very wonderful
and powerful inside all of us. I believe connecting deeply with our
internal spirits is crucial for our happiness and fulfillment.
I have come to believe that there is a divine hero that is at the
heart of each of us. A being who is Love and can only be fulfilled
by Contribution and Connection. 

Christ said The Kingdom of Heaven is Within You and I have found
This through personal experience. Whether the road ahead of me
is measured in days or decades, I want to live the balance of my
life connecting with the spirit of this Divine Hero and live a life 
centered around the unique contributions the spirit inside me
wants so very much to make.

If there is one gift I could give you, it would be that this
writing inspires you to look deeply inside yourself on a daily
basis and discover the Divine Hero you were meant to be.

To find your way home.


Lacy

 


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About This Piece: Having recently attended the funeral of a 19 year old who was killed instantly in an automobile accident, ( see Promise of Tomorrow ) I think there is no age where it is "premature" to think about one's death.  I know "mortality" is a context that appears in a lot of my writing.  It is an important context. No one wastes time or money as much as someone who thinks he has an unlimited amount of it!  I want to celebrate every day I live.  It is far more about appreciating the Miracle of Life than being obsessed with the certain reality of death.  
  On another level, I guess this just shows what a control freak I really must be!  I mean, I want to have the last word even after I am dead!  From another angle though, I actually think it just shows how much I really want to contribute to people having as positive a life experience as possible.  One last attempt to reach out beyond the grave and "touch" someone.   
  I have been to funerals where the preacher ( who barely knew the deceased ) got up to deliver the eulogy and frankly, it was embarrassing.  I think the deceased would be embarrassed if they were alive.  I don't want that!  I want people who never really knew what I think is the best part of me, to know who I was or tried to be.   I want to leave them with a feeling of how much I felt "blessed by life", rather than feeling tragic or downhearted.... and I hope the day of my funeral is a long, long, long, long time in the future ;- ).